Destructoid Changelog - Parking Garage Revelations

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I was back at the fairgrounds this weekend, as it’s when the midway was finally open. I watch the demolition derby. A car caught fire, three trucks pushed two trucks up over the concrete barrier. I just kept thinking about Destruction Derby 64 and Wreckfest. Then, when we left, they were already packing up the midway and dismantling the rides. It was dreamlike, just watching the place pack up in the dark like it was the end of a camping trip. I wasn’t able to get a funnelcake this year.

Did you know that if you refer someone to sign up to this newsletter (through the link or URL below, I can’t stress this enough), you’ll start receiving our special monthly edition? On the last Monday of the month (September 30th, in this case), you’ll receive an exclusive interview with somebody interesting. This month it’s with TheCatamites, the developer behind Anthology of the Killer. It’s neat. In it, they talk about how they steal time from their employer to work on their games. But keep that on the down low.

I’ve finally made time to play WWE 2K24. I think I’ll be skipping 2K25 since it takes me weeks to set up all my custom wrestlers, and for all the time I spend actually playing the game, it isn’t worth it. I make my own brand, Breakfast Time Wrestling; home of Saturday Morning Slam. I’ve been building its roster since I first picked up Virtual Pro-Wrestling 2; a bunch of colorful characters that I try to make outlandish but believable. Although, I strangely make a lot of wrestlers who wear business attire.

One of my favorite creations is Sammy Sorrows, a gangly character with a constant expression of misery on his face. His entrance just has him slowly walk to the ring in total darkness under a spotlight. There’s no entrance theme, just the sound of the crowd booing and heckling him. So relatable.

In the cartridge slot this week

Resident Evil Revelations

I stopped paying attention to the Resident Evil series after the disappointment that was Resident Evil 5. I liked the series when it was stupid horror with a human element to it, where you’d find miserable diaries from people who clutched a pen until their last breath. With Resident Evil 4 it just started being about super-cops fighting Dick Dastardly. So, I just got around to playing the Switch port of Resident Evil Revelations (available on Amazon) because I heard a few people saying it’s sort of a cross between super-cops and tragic horror. It is not.

No, Resident Evil Revelations is so outlandish. It centers around Jill Valentine trying to survive on a cruise ship full of hickey monsters while wearing a wetsuit. The game also switches between other members of the BSAA who are more interesting than her. Often, it’s Chris Redfield, who is more interesting than no one.

The story involves a city that got melted under a magnifying glass after it became infested with viral mutants and Mystery Inc. digging into the history of the terrorist group that infected it. This leads to a cruise ship, because nobody remembers Resident Evil Gaiden.

It’s not very horrifying. There are some attempts at jumpscares, but that only worked on me once when Chris Redfield suddenly appeared in front of me after trailing behind for several corridors. There’s a section of the ship that looks like an old mansion, and everything’s painted with dirt, but it’s mostly just a setpiece for gunning down suck monsters.

But while I may sound dismissive of Resident Evil Revelations, I did enjoy it. As daft as the story is, it’s told with some interesting flair, and the characters are maybe not deep, but they are endearing. It’s not a return to the Raccoon City days, but those games are still there. Maybe I’ll try Resident Evil Revelations 2. I do love Barry Burton, but who doesn’t?

Elsewhere on Destructoid

Narrative shooter Visegunne makes me wonder why robots have legs if they’re just going to fly

The existence of Visegunne is maybe not weird or interesting news, but my flow-of-though writing style goes off the rails in this one as I start obsessing over its amazing press release. There are only so many ways you can really talk about a game’s announcement, so I like to have fun with it wherever I can.

Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii casts Majima as a pirate and I’m speechless

This was really not something I expected to see when I woke up last Friday. The Yakuza/Like a Dragon series has always been an interesting mix of deeply weird and overly dramatic, but now they’re just screwing around. And I love to see it. Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii is what it says in the headline: Majima becomes a pirate. Like, it’s modern times, but he sails around on a galleon (or whatever it is, I’m not a nautical person.) It both kinda makes sense and is also completely batshit, so it fits in with the series.

Tanuki: Pon’s Summer has you slinging packages all summer

Dick jokes are a tradition at Destructoid, and talking about tanukis is the perfect time to whip a few out. Somehow, I was able to only sprinkle in a few subtle ones, but I certainly intended to insert a few more when talking about Tanuki: Pon’s Summer.

Lethal Wedding gives me serious Zombies Ate My Neighbors vibes, coming to Sega Genesis and Mega Drive

Back in 2020, I spent some time writing a game with Mega Cat Studios, the developer behind Lethal Wedding. Before you get too excited/disgusted, the game hasn’t been announced in the intervening years and was maybe cancelled for all I know. Doesn’t matter, I enjoyed working on it and it happened at a time when I was at an all-time low.

They were working on Lethal Wedding at the time (I had nothing to do with it), but it seems to have been bumped down the list of priorities for quite a while, since it’s only getting ready for primetime now. In any case, I’m always a fan of nouveau retro releases, so I’ll have my eye on this.

Reviews for review this week

Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster

Capcom actually forgot to give us early access to Dead Rising Deluxe Remaster for review purposes, so this came a bit late. I don’t even care if I get something before release, I’m just hurt that their response when asked was “Whoops.”
Available on Amazon.

Parking Garage Rally Circuit

By merit of the fact its tracks are all located exclusively in parking garages, Parking Garage Rally Circuit managed to avoid any comparison to Beetle Adventure Racing. It’s a great game despite not being Beetle Adventure Racing. The drifting feels great and it’s a convincing homage to ‘90s racing games like Sega Rally Championship. More importantly, it’s clearly made with love and passion and it shows.

Home Safety Hotline

I worked in I.T. for almost a decade before doing this, so I’m pretty experienced when it comes to troubleshooting esoteric problems based on poor descriptions and incomplete information. That’s what Home Safety Hotline is. People call in with issues around the house, and you just have to pick out what they’re describing from a list. It’s way more interesting than it sounds, as bizarre and otherworldly problems start getting dropped into your list. On the other hand, consoles are maybe not the best fit for this type of game.

Lorn’s Lure

I just now realized that I’ve been watching development videos of Lorn’s Lure for months now, it just didn’t convince me to look into it further. I also thought it was HROT for some reason. Discovering that I’m just magnitudes confused is a bit distressing, but also not relevant. Tiago Manuel looks at the actual Lorn’s Lure in this review and seems to think it’s pretty fly.

Apartment Story

I probably would have reviewed Apartment Story if I had the time, but I recognized that I didn’t. Thankfully, Kristina Ebanez stepped up and handled it for us. She thought the blending of The Sims and a traditional narrative was “Alright.” She found all the stat management between story sequences to be somewhat tedious. Personally, I’m still kind of curious.